On learning

I have to admit that learning is not always enjoyable for me. The reason is this: I always give myself a beating for not having known already. And it really hinders not only my receptiveness, but my ability to commit what I have come to know to memory! Instead of exploring the new information, instead of integrating it with other things that I already know and making something of it, I tend to just dwell on the fact that there are a lot of things that I am as yet clueless to and by god, what have I been doing all my life?? And then I start thinking I’ve wasted a lot of time in my formative and impressionable years in academic institutions, thereby wasting more time for learningin the process. And then I dwell on that too. 

So, after having identified this major pothole in my education, I would really like to change that attitude. It is distracting, it is regressive, it is pointless, and it sucks. 

From now on, I will not think about thinking! I will happily accept the new information— whether previously taught or not, whether it’s something that I’m merely re-learning— and connect it with the things that I already know (because thank God there is still stored information in my gray up there). That is the only way to secure data in my head. By tying them all up.

When I am informed, I will validate, store, and incorporate.  

“Discoveries of any great moment in mathematics and other disciplines, once they are discovered, are seen to be extremely simple and obvious, and make everybody, including their discoverer, appear foolish for not having discovered them before. It is all too often forgotten that the ancient symbol for the prenascence of the world is a fool, and that foolishness, being a divine state, is not a condition to be either proud or ashamed of.

Unfortunately, we find systems of education today which have departed so far from the plain truth, that they now teach us to be proud of what we know and ashamed of ignorance. This is doubly corrupt. It is corrupt not only because pride is in itself a mortal sin, but also because to teach pride in knowledge is to put up an effective barrier against any advance upon what is already known, since it makes one ashamed to look beyond the bonds imposed by one’s ignorance.

To any person prepared to enter with respect into the realm of his great and universal ignorance, the secrets of being will eventually unfold, and they will do so in measure according to his freedom from natural and indoctrinated shame in his respect of their revelation.”

- Appendix 1 to the The Laws of Form by G. Spencer Brown

Because if any social networking site is about passion, dreams, and heart, it’s tumblr

I am a BS Geology graduate from the National Institute of Geological Sciences at UP Diliman, and I am presently an MS student and researcher in the same institute. I could say that I deserve to go to space because I could use the orbital perspective in my study of the earth. With that experience, I would be able to directly contribute to science and technology in our country.

But another equally— if not more important— reason why I deserve to ride the great Lynx ship, is because I have loved, believed in, fantasized about, and dreamt of space exploration as far back as I can remember. I tune in to astronauts on the International Space Station, watch their documentaries, read their blogs, just so I could imagine as accurately and vividly as possible how it could be like, being propelled to go into orbit— the thrill of traveling faster than the speed of sound, the danger of experiencing the weight of a baby elephant on my chest, the excitement of feeling weightless, the surreality of being able to observe several sunrises and sunsets in an earth day, and just the great adventure of space faring and looking at our good earth and the majestic universe from that unique vantage point. I want to inspire others to dream, and to believe that passion ignites and fuels hard work and excellence. That is what I live for; exploration, discovery, thrill, danger, adventure, learning, and being able to make others see the beauty that I do. That is what space is for me.

I am nothing great. There are others smarter, stronger, and more popular. There are others who are overly qualified. But I ask for your votes because I am a dreamer who wants her greatest dream to come true. And because of that I have a lot of heart; a lot of heart to train to be sufficiently strong, to endeavor the mental challenges, to make it so that I am truly deserving. I believe in space exploration and I will do it justice. And I will champion not only space, but commercial space exploration, because everybody deserves the chance to behold the final frontier.

Please help me make my dream come true, you lovers, dreamers; you tumblr-ers.

https://www2.axeapollo.com/en_PH/808/jasmine-may-sabado

Ping

Ping was our “backyard dog”.

I have stared at this screen for so long after writing that line. I don’t know how to write about Ping. I don’t know when my tito got him and from where. I don’t even know his exact age. When we moved to fairview, he was already here. He has always been just here.
And now he isn’t anymore.

I know, however, that Ping was scared of firecrackers. Every New Year’s Eve, he’d whimper and hide. There are not much hiding places in the backyard though, so one time, when he was so scared and frantic to look for a place he may find comfort in, he jumped over the barrier we put up so he couldn’t get to the front of the house. I got scared because I thought he and Kimba might fight. But after awhile, he jumped right over again, back to his backyard.
Always just his backyard.
Maybe he sensed that we didn’t want him there.. Of course he did.. Because all he had ever known was the place we gave him in the backyard.

I also know that Ping doesn’t like the sound of the harmonica, because sometimes our neighbor would play it, and Ping would be crying the whole time.

I remember how Ping would get excited when we were out back. He would sniff our butts and wag his tail excitedly and jump around.
But nobody ever played with him.

My friend Tin said, when she was comforting me, “.. I know he was loved.” and I felt so guilty because I am sure Ping never felt that he was loved. He was always just given scraps of food. I think nobody ever touched him until yesterday, when he was being buried in the only place he has ever known all his life. How happy he would have been that people noticed him this time.

I am always scared of him; always scared that he might fight with Kimba, or with Kylee (when she was still alive). I’m scared that he might mate with Kimba because I didn’t want him for her. I am evil. I am no differrent from the people who size up others. I thought of Ping as this old askal who was not fit for my princess. I am always scared that Ping might bite me, so I just throw the leftovers out the backyard and close the door immediately. Never have I put the food properly in his plate… He did have a plate, did he?

So I guess I would be pretty thick if I said this, but I have to. I want to, and it’s true.
I love Ping. It’s just that.. I was scared of him.
I remember crying for him before because I pitied the life he was given.. The life we gave him. He deserved more. Animals always deserve more. Maybe I should have claimed him as my own. Like Kimba. Then I would have felt more responsible for his health and his happiness. Maybe I would have talked to him more and shown him how thankful I am that he guards the house. Maybe I would have shown I was sorry for how he was treated. Maybe I would’ve taken lots of pictures of him too. He never had any; nothing that documented his existence here on earth. Nobody felt that he was important enough for even just a single snapshot.

I was already at work when he was being buried. But I can imagine how it was.
This is the same thing I felt when Kylee was being buried; the same thing Harry Potter felt when Dobby was being buried.
Harry Potter recalled the funeral of Dumbledore; how people honored him and spoke highly of him; how people gave testaments to the great person that he is and the great works he has done, and he felt that Dobby deserved just as much.

Kylee deserved just as much.

Ping deserved so much more than that.

Thank you to Ping, the dog who guarded our house for years and years and years, and never got anything in return. I miss you. I miss your barks and whimpers and growls. I miss hearing you padding all over the backyard. I am so sorry. I am so so sorry.

I wish you all the happiness in paradise. I try to comfort myself by thinking that it’s nothing like here up there.

2012.05.16

• It has been said that you’ll know you’ve made the right decision when you picked the harder choice yet your heart is at peace
• But it doesn’t necessarily entail that the harder choice is the right one. What’s right doesn’t always have to be what’s hard. Some of the right choices are as natural and easy and beautiful as being

The view during one of those times I really felt independent

Had to preserve the moment. Haha

“With the crown of snow cometh wisdom”

Lola’s graduation message for me (written on the envelope with my “seed money” in it)

Thanks Lola! I’ll remember that!